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The CFDA NOT Best Dressed List

Posted By IMeanWhat on Jun 7, 2011 at 8:55AM

The Herman Munster shoes, the ill fitting bustier. Whatever, Marlene. She might need to stop Gaga-ing. A new verb.

There is not much to say. This Not Best Dressed List has become a staple in the I Mean…What?!? universe and shall stay in place forever. Why? Because so many fashionistas are clueless. Or just not brilliant. Words speak volumes, but pictures tell the story. Without any further ado, here are this year’s entries onto The CFDA NOT Best Dressed List for your perusal.

This makes that dress Mammy made for Scarlett from the curtains seem like a hoochie mamma dress from Herve Leger. That or she borrowed this from Andre Leon Tally.

Hilary Alexander proves the adage, "Do as I say, not as i do".

Not feeling this print on Liv Tyler. It's OK. But of all the gin joints...

Whatever. I know, sacriledge to say "Boo" about Chloe. But, fotz. And the shoes?

J. Crew? Clearly and the Lindsay Lohan Anklets are weird. This is all just unflattering.

Two peas in a pod. And I mean A Pea In The Pod.

I know, color blocking is huge for summer. But not when you are 18 months pregnant. Jessica Alba needs to hire Natalie Portman's stylist.

Is this from Rachel Roy and Amar'e Stoudemire's new Macy's collection?

Rebecca Minkoff should stick to designing bags.

What's a fashion event without a Manzie?

Or two.

What climate was this woman in last night? She and Thom Browne are like polar opposites. Operative word, polar.

This Marchesa number is all sorts of wrong.

And Georgina Chapman, who is stunning, wore the modern interpretation of the Gay 90's Saloon Dress.

Jenne Lombardo (left, duh) thought she would need to step in for Lady Gaga in case she fell off her shoes and could not come up to the podium to get her award. Hence the Gaga-ness.

Nope. Neither own a gay.

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Are Al Qaeda A Bunch Of Manzies?!?

Posted By IMeanWhat on May 9, 2011 at 6:22PM

This is not Patrick MacDonald, this is a Pakistani Manzie.

The least of Pakistan’s problems is the recent discovery that Osama Bin Laden was living high on the hog in the midst of their military retirement village. As Bill Maher so eloquently put it on Real Time this past Friday, “Let’s not call Bin Laden’s compound a mansion, it looks more like a five story tenement in Van Nuys.” One would have to agree there. No, what the Pakistanis have to be far more concerned about are their dueling Fashion Weeks. Yes, as Mercedes Benz Fashion Week has inspired even third world countries to get on the fashion stick, Pakistan, of all places, has two of them. Based on that fact, coupled with the fact that one does not think of Pakistan in relation to style, there just be some truth to the rumor that Al Qaeda has a finger in these global activations. The goal of Al Qaeda is to assimilate within the culture in an effort to gain access to people and information. Needless to say, if there is fashion, there are Manzies. And where there are Manzies, there is fashion, though I beg to differ. Here are some of the things that were shown in the dueling diva fashion extravaganzas.

Bitch stole Osama Bin Laden's look.

Inspired by...


Here is what the Ru Pauls of Pakistan will be wearing this fall.

And here is what the 72 virgins that the terrorists are promised will be clad in up in Allah's bed chambers.


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Manzie Alert: Spring '11

Posted By IMeanWhat on Sep 12, 2010 at 3:13PM

Well, you didn't think a season would go by without me making at least one little reference to that much loved and admired creature...the Manzie. What good would I serve if I did not stick in my two cents and and point out the one look from each of the men's spring '11 collections that could have easily been edited out? Huh? If you don't know what the Manzie Report is by now, then you just have to look at these images from this week's men's shows/presentations to recognize that certain kind of man that would wear these ensemblays. Actually, there are two issues at stake here: 1) Manzies and 2) Garments that are so bland, that The Look For Less seems upmarket. PLEASE NOTE: I could not find one look wrong with Buckler by Andrew Buckler. Congratulations.

[caption id="attachment_12929" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Band of Outsiders: OK...these look like summer pjs for toddlers. And look, it's his beddy bye, too."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12928" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Lacoste: Really? This outfit would make the vampires on True Blood disintrigrate."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12927" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Loden Dager: Have you noticed the rise in straight men wearing pink shorts this past summer? I love that straight are testing their manhood and their girlfriends walk along side them making sure she warts of homos."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12926" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Patrick Ervell: An otherwise great collection, but the belted Nehru jackets is a challenge. Lose the belt and you're good to go."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12925" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Robert Geller: Are those a new body? Shortknickers? Do they have a Roman shade tie thing happening on the side? Will men wear headbands and hose supporters...sans hose...come spring '11?"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12922" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Billy Reid: Another great collection but really? Does he need to have these pants in his collection? You can buy these patchwork things anywhere. And they always look wrong. Unless you are in Malaysia or where ever those little kids are busy sewing those patches together. I mean, Jos. A Bank sells these for $39.00. Talk about The Look For less."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12921" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Gilded Age: When Mark Twain coined the phrase Gilded Age, you think he had these board shorts in mind? "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12920" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Rag & Bone: Hats off to Rag & Bone for making a huge statement for men this season, baggy, relaxed, volume. But this one look...well...it's like Mao Tse-Tung inspired and put on an Asian model...oy."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12919" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Steven Alan: Yes, Steven Alan has a great, loyal following. But talk about The Look For Less. This is K-mart galore.And if I see one more pair of Toms shoes..."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12918" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Tim Hamilton Redux: I'd say Tim Hamilton should redux these shorts."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12924" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="3.1 Phillip Lim: What's the 3.1 all about? Is it based on the Olympic judges? These two looks are redonkulous."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_12923" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="3.1 Phillip Lim: Not clear on what a manzie is yet? Here you go."][/caption]

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Paris Is Burning Alright...To A Crisp

Posted By IMeanWhat on Jun 27, 2010 at 5:35PM

The Milan shows bring out the masculine guns of the fashion industry. Armani, Zegna and Gucci lead the charge in sophisticated, sexy, masculine clothes. One can consider it boring (some of my readers, you know who you are), but it is at the core of the business and must be respected as such. There is less frills on the runways in Milan, than let's say, it's sister fashion city, Paris. The shows got off to a hootenanny of a start here in the City of Lights. Once again, we were presented with the quirky man-hat, a look that I was hoping was fully retired since very few were shown in Milan. Alas, Paris marches to a different beat. Paris is where men are able to don a skirt and go food shopping without being looked at cross-eyed...ish. Anything goes in Paris. And that is when I say, please don't. Here a  few samples of what exactly I mean.

[caption id="attachment_11720" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="The lacy top layer is completely gratuitous. Givenchy expects who to wear this? Nelly?"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11721" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="Come on, a lacy skirt, the lacy layered top, the homely silhouette. "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11722" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="This ensemble would work for Jackie Collins...or her sister Joan."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11723" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="Or this get up, too."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11727" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="Yves Saint Laurent presents the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B. Nice length of skort-culotte-skort-let...whatever you call that. "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11726" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption=" Moodiava."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11725" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="This is like last Spring's Manzie looks. Fotz."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11730" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="Now here's a look. Jean Paul Gaultier must have not returned his 3D glasses from Avatar."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11729" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="This too is a regurgitation of last Spring's Manzie Look."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11731" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="See what I mean?"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11728" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="I thought this crop-top, Bat Queen look was behind us with Calviin Klein."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11732" align="aligncenter" width="204" caption="Clearly they wash each other out."][/caption]

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Lauren Foster: Coming Out Again

Posted By IMeanWhat on Jun 26, 2010 at 4:24PM

[caption id="attachment_11694" align="aligncenter" width="480" caption="Lauren Foster: Woman on a mission."][/caption]

Yet another Gay Pride Weekend filled with cha cha and booze is upon us. Since washboard abs and cheesy music has hijacked the look and tone of what is "gay", let alone the Manzie fashion filled funways, you can see why I have proclaimed that I am homosexual yes, gay no in the piece I AM ASKING AND I AM TELLING.  However, this season there is provocative and compelling element that will be front and center in the Gay Pride Parade. I am speaking of my friend Lauren Foster, the Miami-based glamour puss, who has chosen to take this moment and officially come out as a proud activist for the transgender community. Lauren is so lovely and feminine and as she says, a lot of these gals are not the right representation of the community. She mocks in an extra deep, gravelly voice, “Hi, my name is Diane.” All kidding aside, she is bright, well spoken and has been around almost as long as I have so she has deep reference to what the community's struggle was to allow for Ru Pauls' Drag Race. She has a great spirit and sense of self and I refer to what she is doing at the parade is like coming out again.

Foster, born in South Africa, worked as a fashion model in the 80’s and is one of the world's most well-known transsexual women, having been the first to pose for Vogue magazine. The other fabulous experience she has racked up is tour manager for the iconic performer, Grace Jones.

[caption id="attachment_11696" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Lauren Foster and Grace Jones in the good old days."][/caption]

ABE: So, I am saying that you are coming out...again.
LF: That’s really a great way to put it.
ABE: What made you decide to do it now?
LF: The city of Miami Beach approached me to represent the transgender community in the New York City Pride Parade?
ABE: The whole city? Did they all come banging at your door together?
LF: They tried, but my concierge did not let them up.
ABE: I think it is great that you are talking on the role of putting a beautiful face on such a controversial and misunderstood group of people.
LF: I am proud to do it and have always felt it was a matter of time that I could stand up and be counted.
ABE: Let’s get down to more interesting stuff… what was Grace Jones like?
LF: Beside her always trying to get her paws up my dress, she was great teacher. She took me on the best ride of my life.
ABE: The first year New Year’s Eve party at Studio 54, Grace came into the club on a motorcycle flanked by two muscle queens.
LF: And Divine, you can't forget about Divine. I was there that night and what a fantastic night that was.
ABE: I am either getting deja vu...or a flashback. We must have done endless drugs together.
LF: I am sure I don’t know what you are talking about. You must be thinking about another Lauren Foster.
ABE: No, I don’t think so, don’t you have a Chanel tattoo? Pull down your skirt.
LF: That is the second time someone has that to me today. Now can we get back to the story at hand?
ABE: What story? Oh, that. Oh, yes. What is the most meaningful part of what you are doing this weekend.
LF: It is profound that the parade ends at Christopher Street where transgender outlaw Sylvia Rivera, threw the first bottle at Stonewall. I honor her memory, celebrate her efforts and endorse her message by being here today”.

Click here to Facebook Lauren Foster.

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Milan's Odds As It Ends

Posted By IMeanWhat on Jun 24, 2010 at 7:25PM

[caption id="attachment_11640" align="aligncenter" width="344" caption="Why Albino Deuxieme was compelled to throw this look down the runway is beyond me. Is the statement: bedding makes for good dresses? "][/caption]

The Spring 11 shows came to a close in Milan, and overall there were great, sexy, safe collections sprinkled in with those few designers that love...and are committed to...Manzies. There were noticeably less mandals than last year, more blue than black and less quirky man-hats, which makes me very happy. Yes, there were Mad Men, but more along the likes of Coo-Coo, rather than Jon Hamm lookalikes. The Milan Maznie Report ends by featuring these few designers who we can live happily ever after...without.

[caption id="attachment_11641" align="aligncenter" width="344" caption="The fabric of those culottes are also very bedding. Albino also showed mandals galore."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11642" align="aligncenter" width="346" caption="Once again, I am offering my services for editing."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11643" align="aligncenter" width="340" caption="Bat Queen is the new Manzie."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11644" align="aligncenter" width="352" caption="Nope."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11645" align="aligncenter" width="351" caption="And throwing a Stella McCartney-style chunky cardigan does not tie the whole look together. Just give it up, Marlene."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11646" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption="I am not trying to be a bitch but if you are planning to wear this ensemble, I would love to hear from you."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11649" align="aligncenter" width="315" caption="This one model had to bear the brunt of Ermanno Scervino's manzie styling."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11647" align="aligncenter" width="328" caption="All I want to know is, to what event can you wear this look?"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11648" align="aligncenter" width="321" caption="He must have been thinking, "I am going back to college and getting a business degree. This is the final straw.""][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11653" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption="Giuliano Fujiwara showed what WWD considered "intriguing layers and panels". I am intrigued allright."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11652" align="aligncenter" width="342" caption="Lurch gone manzie. Love the mandals."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11651" align="aligncenter" width="346" caption="These are like Lindsay Lohan inspired ankle-mandals. What is left to say? Nothing. See you in Paris."][/caption]

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Vivienne Westwood: Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs

Posted By IMeanWhat on Jun 22, 2010 at 11:28AM

[caption id="attachment_11595" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Question: Is Vivienne Westwood avant garde or Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs?"][/caption]

Dame Vivienne Westwood is a force of nature. She presents her avant garde collections in virtually every market on Earth. Mens' in Milan, women's in Paris, combo platter in London, Hong Kong Fashion Week and, if I'm not mistaken, she has featured the Anglomania collection in the United States. Last season her theme was "The Homeless" and judging by some of the looks from Spring 11, that message carries through. Homeless or perhaps even a bit crazy? You tell me.

[caption id="attachment_11588" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="The wigs, the styling, the man-cowl...crazy."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11589" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="Coo-Coo indeed."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11590" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="Manzie or Coo-Coo?"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11591" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="Here we have Cosabella bloomers and some kind of Sylvester the Cat hat."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11592" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="Homeless and loving it."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11593" align="aligncenter" width="361" caption="yes, gays can be homeless too."][/caption]


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Manzies in Bike Lanes

Posted By IMeanWhat on Jun 21, 2010 at 12:44PM

[caption id="attachment_11572" align="aligncenter" width="282" caption="Thom Browne's styling of this trench suits Michelle Obama rather than a butch guy."][/caption]

Thom Browne took to the bike lanes with a breezy, cool collection for spring. As a long time bike rider, his homage to cyclists everywhere was refreshing and welcome. Usually I find more things wrong with Thom's runway collections than right, but I am happy to report that this time around there were more wearable looks than not. Naturally, what's a Manzie Report without a few good manzies, and with Browne's theatrical penchant for showing more looks than necessary, there has to be a few bombs in the line-up and here they are.

[caption id="attachment_11571" align="aligncenter" width="301" caption="Now, am I tripping of is this a to-the-knee dress with matching leggings. And did Thom think the cape finished the look? Somebody chime in here."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11570" align="aligncenter" width="275" caption="Manpris? Really? Thom...come on."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11569" align="aligncenter" width="271" caption="What's a Thom Brown collection without a good culotte set?"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11568" align="aligncenter" width="276" caption="And I am not feeling this Sherlock Holmes-capelet either."][/caption]

Calvin Klein had a few doozies, too. Designers are showing much more sell-able looks on the runway since the economy is still a big fotz, but it is as though they can't help themselves by pairing swim trunks with blazers or hot pants with wing tips shoes. Marlene, get with it. I am happy to do last looks and help edit, or restyle. Just saying...

[caption id="attachment_11578" align="aligncenter" width="204" caption="Flashdance collection by Calvin Klein...What?"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11574" align="aligncenter" width="207" caption="Look, I use to crop the shit out of my sweatshirts in the 80's...but there are some trends that need to die on the vine."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11576" align="aligncenter" width="188" caption="And what store is ordering this? Mark down and charge backs galore."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11577" align="aligncenter" width="230" caption="This silhouette is never gonna fly. Bell sleeves, mid-high waist, square hair? Yikes."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11575" align="aligncenter" width="239" caption="Bat Stud...now here's a look for the Hamptons. and (B) Excellent casting choice. ;)"][/caption]

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Who Wears Short Shorts?!?

Posted By IMeanWhat on Jun 3, 2010 at 11:48AM

[caption id="attachment_11137" align="aligncenter" width="540" caption="Of course this guy can wear short shorts...and/or nothing. (As featured in The New York Times.)"][/caption]

It was not that long ago, actually last year at this time, that I MEAN...WHAT?!? discovered The Manzie. You know how The Wolfman is part man, part beast? Well, a Manzie* is part man, part nelly beast. It all started quite innocently when I was just finding my mojo as a blogger and noticed that all the spring men's shows were featuring the nelliest clothes on Earth. "Not that there is anything wrong with it." But then, the fall collections showed lots and lots of butch realness (pants tucked into boots?) going down the runway. I thought perhaps, that the Manzie might be retried. But no...that can not be. The collections that were featured last year are now in stores and lo and behold...the Manzie rocks the sidewalks.

[caption id="attachment_11023" align="aligncenter" width="416" caption="Gotcha."][/caption]

The New York Times Style features the newest trend, short swimsuits for men and more specifically, my favorite shop, Parke Ronen on Ninth Avenue in New York City.  Now, in regards to the guy featured in The Times, of course he should wear these James Bond swim suits. The Times Style declares that board shorts are out. And I franly beg to differ. The guy in the Gotcha shot above is confident and walking around showing leg, though I am not sure that's fierce. It's not bad....it's just not manly. I know, I sound like a prude, but where is this guy going? To work? Surely he is self employed...and owns a short shorts company. The article makes a few other statements that I think are fotz.

NYT: Sure, we have the long board shorts, but they’re cut very narrow, for the spaghettini, the tall, thin guys with skinny legs. You can’t put them in the short trunks — it looks like a cheerleader skirt.”
ABE: I would imagine that Marc Jacobs and Alan Cumming would beg to differ. They are men of many kilts. And we have accepted them.
NYT: Men are coming to appreciate the virtues of showing some leg. And not just for swim trunks, either: Some fashion designers have shown Bermuda shorts so short, they make you wonder if Bermuda is under 10 feet of water.
ABE: See below.

[caption id="attachment_11131" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Yikes...now in stores."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11132" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Hey, Lacoste Girl."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11133" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="This is a man-culotte. If it were a few inches longer, it would still be an acceptable board short."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11134" align="aligncenter" width="489" caption="This is an overveiw of the Gina Lolobrigida Orange that was really popular. Notice the Gina shorts at the bottom and the lovely striped hat to match. Oh, and those mandals. Beyond."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_11135" align="aligncenter" width="294" caption="Time Magazine actually showed Manty Hose, what to wear with short shorts. OKIDEER!"][/caption]

For you newcomers....


* A Manzie is not a Dandy, nor is he a Pansy, hence the revised spelling. A Pansy doesn’t necessarily need to dress effeminately in order to be called a Pansy by a bunch of blokes. They just need to have a sisssing “S” in their speech, run with their arms flailing or become cheerleaders. A Dandy, on the other hand, (like my friend Patrick MacDonald) is someone who combines and maintains a look that embraces high-fashion and avant garde, which transcends the current styling trend of “quirky man”, featuring the “quirky man-hat” (click here). In essence, a Manzie can be a straight man trying too hard to be stylish or a “straight-acting gay guy” (the horrendous reverse closet syndrome) that thinks by acting butch, it will compensate for the bad “quirky man-hat” and other Manzie fashion choices.

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Editing the Chanel Resort Collection

Posted By IMeanWhat on May 14, 2010 at 1:17PM

Look, far be it from me to tell the master, Karl Lagerfeld, anything. After all, he is considered the master for many reasons. Karl is also someone that must be surrounded by people who dare not say anything to him that might get him mad, 'cause Daddy Karl looks like someone you do not want to cross. Having perused the new, fabulous Chanel Resort 2011 Collection that was just shown in St. Tropez, frankly, he could stand to have someone...preferably me...stand alongside him to say what should be cut from the show. First of all 87 looks? Really? Yes, he is brilliant...but you've got to know that some of these pieces could easily be lived without. What...I am not allowed to say anything? I am surely not trashing Karl on any level. On the contrary. But having worked intimately within the celebrity system, I know firsthand how it works. No one dares tell the star anything besides what they want to hear. So, that said, I am just suggesting that the following looks could have been edited out of the show, and live happily ever after.

[caption id="attachment_10739" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="This olive drab harlequin 2-piece set...for men...yikes...is beyond fotz. And that fabric looks like some kind of silk crepe or rayon...well...whatever...clearly Manzie galore."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10740" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Really? Is any of this good? The skirt is Guess, the Chanel jacket color is feh, and the boots...OK...I get it...thigh highs are in. I can't wait to see these bitches walking around in thigh highs in St. Barts at Christmas. "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10741" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Like you can't get this outfit at Filene's Basement...rather...Nordstrom Rack. What tragic fashionista needs to buy this at Chanel. There...I said it."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10742" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="On first glance this looks like a Snuggie."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10743" align="aligncenter" width="288" caption="Just sayin'..."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10744" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Interesting...but reminds me of this...."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10745" align="aligncenter" width="297" caption="Hula skirt."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10746" align="aligncenter" width="317" caption="And a bit of this Berhard Willhelm number."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10747" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="This is cute..."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10748" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Not overly flattering."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10749" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Nordstom Rack plenty."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10750" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Ditto."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10751" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Snuggie-ish."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10753" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Fotz."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_10757" align="aligncenter" width="216" caption="Click here"][/caption]

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